Life-Defining Moments

Something happened on the way to the dance floor…

You know, it’s funny. I was going to post the following as a short public service announcement as something almost funny that happened when my friend and I were out last night, but this article made me think twice about how I should deliver

this story.Last night, a friend of mine and I went to a club. Noisy, dark. Etcetera. I was dressed in jeans and a t shirt. A guy, as they will, started dancing with me, which is fine. It is a club. Whatever. He was a little aggressive in his groping, but I managed to keep his hands in fairly respectable places. They called last call and he asked me to go home with him. I told him no, I don’t go home with strangers, sorry. His response? “What if I gave you money?”
He asked me, to my telling him “no, I will not go home with you”, “What if I gave you money?”
I promptly stopped dancing, turned to him, and said get away from me. He replied, “I was kidding,” and tried to reach out for me, to which I responded again, “Get away from me.” He pouted, gave me an annoyed look, and walked away.
Now, of course, I have no qualms about being hit on. It happens. And of course, in a club, men (and women) are trying to get lucky. I get that. But when a woman says “I do not go home with strangers”, in what universe is it appropriate to offer her money?
I’ve had a lot of experiences over my life that could be described as sexual assault, but none of them have ever made me feel like that one offer did. Granted, worse things have happened to me, but this felt different. As if, as a woman, I valued my own resolves so little that I would give it all up just to make a bit of cash. He made me feel physically ill. If he had not gone away after my second insistence, I would have punched him for the way he spoke to me.Now, a friend of mine posted this, and it made me think about this little experience of mine. While there are a few bits and pieces in this article I would want to discuss the merits of, the overall message of one’s right to make yourself unavailable to others if you so choose (and I believe this is equal to men and women) should be respected. There is no excuse, not even a joke, to ask any person, man or woman, if they would give up their resolve for money when they make it clear they’re not interested. You can give me pouty looks and call me a bitch all you want; if I say no, it means no.

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