The first time I was raped, I was 5’3”, 130lbs, wearing a pair of bellbottom jeans and a sweater, and no makeup.
When I was able to fight off my rapist, I was 150lbs, in a pair of jeans, and a sweater.
The second time I was raped, I was 130lbs, and I was wearing pyjamas.
All three of these instances, I was sober.
Thing is, my outfit and my weight shouldn’t matter. My being raped shouldn’t be any less wrong if I’m wearing a skimpy dress, or nothing at all.
This is the reason movements like “#YesAllWomen” matter.
I know #NotAllMen are rapists. Of course they’re not. But some are.
Some men would argue that we’re being intrusive, overly loud, and making a fuss.
Women are dead because a man believed he had the right to fuck them, and we’re the ones who’re making a fuss?
Come on, bro.
Why not get upset at the men who’re spoiling it for you by abusing women? I mean, you have a mother, a sister a friend who’s a girl, right? Do you want them to live in a world they’re scared to navigate?
Should they be raped for stepping outside alone?
Instead of telling me that #NotAllMen are assholes – because I know that already – why not work with #YesAllWomen to make sure it’s #NoMen rather than #SomeMen?
Have a friend you know feels entitled to every woman’s vagina? Talk to him about it. Remind him there’s a person attached to that pussy. Know a dude that hates his boss because a woman shouldn’t be in charge? Ask him why she was hired. No, affirmative action isn’t the answer. One of your bros threatening rape every time a woman disagrees with him? Smack him upside the head, coz that shit ain’t cool.
If you’re as cool about women as you say you are, why aren’t you helping us?
My dad is a man’s man, but he was also my primary caregiver, and he taught me many things. He taught me how to be handy with construction tools. He taught me how to cook. And he taught me that I – a woman – am equal to any man. Equal.
Not more, not less.
Is it equal that I have to limit my outings to when it’s light out, or that I have to be afraid to be alone with a man? No.
#NotAllMen are going to rape me, but how do I know which one is? Isn’t it better for everyone if we live in a society where both parties are on equal footing?
#NotAllMen can go both ways, because it’s #NotAllMen who’ll respect my autonomy, either.
#NotAllMen will stop just because I say stop.
I know, because #NotAllMen have.